I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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