Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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