I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It was confusing and full of hummus
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
