I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize