am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
