My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
