I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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