dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
