i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
