OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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