David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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