I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
