So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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