bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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