i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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