Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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