**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
