Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
