I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
