He uses pillows to masturbate.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
