Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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