2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
