I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
