i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
