is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
