You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
