My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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