The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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