he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize