First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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