I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
