Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
