I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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