Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
