i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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