You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
