We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
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The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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