...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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