And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
