We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
