i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
