She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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