can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
