Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
