brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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