I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
