i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
