her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
