When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
