Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Let's paint friendship bongs
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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