just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
