People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
