I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
