So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
