Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
