oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
