hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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