wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
