here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
