Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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