oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Your cock deserves a montage
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
