UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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