I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
