margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
