So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
