i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
